Success Begins When Responsibility is Taken
(Written in first Person for ownership, affirmation, and to help you, help yourself, change your life in the direction you choose to go!)
Yes, The “Have To’s” can get ya
It is what I do
That I do not “have to” do
That determines who I am
When it is too late
To do anything about it.
I discovered that many times I felt like I was a slave to the “have to” and even though I really didn’t “want to”, I felt I was obligated to “have to” do it. I found that many times what I said I “have to” do, was someone else’s decision for me. I felt as if I were saying to myself, “I don’t have a choice”, because someone else will be upset with me if I don’t, and this reason, the “have to” was getting in the way of my creating the success I wanted for me and my family.
This only showed up when I really got into planning my future. When I began setting goals to achieve my dreams, to create the future I wanted for me and my family. This is when I realized that “have to” was getting in my way. One of the mentors that really helped me realize this is Stephen Covey when I read his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I highly recommend this for everyone to help grow to another level in self awareness about how we are each creating our own future.
When I did not have a definite plan for my life and future, “have to’s” seemed to make sense. I found myself using a “have to” any time I really did want to do something. It was an easy excuse that took the responsibility off of me in my eyes. As I have studied and grow personally in my awareness, I realize more and more that this excuse only satisfied me, the person giving the excuse. I have since come to understand that the majority of excuses only satisfy the person giving the excuse.
When I started writing out my goals, I discovered I was using “have to” as a way of not having to take responsibility for not doing, what I needed to be doing to stay in alignment with my plan of action to achieve my goals. This awareness caused me to write the above quote. I began catch myself before I said the “have to” and changed it to “want to” or “do not want to”. I started taking full responsibility for what I was choosing to do or not do in my life.
I do understand there are some “have to’s” in my life, yet many are not “have to’s”. They are really “I do not want to’s”, and a way of my not taking responsibility for the decision, or my having to say to someone, “I do not want to”. At that point, “have to” became a cop out I used, an excuse where I gave power away to an excuse.
I found when I began to take responsibility for each decision I made in the moment, I began to make decisions differently. I was not as quick to make a decision, and I was able to start looking at the value of my time differently too. Did I really want to, or did I really not want to do the thing being requested of me?
Since I now had a picture of what I wanted to Be, Do and Have in my life, I was then able to separate activities that were not taking me closer to my goals, and those that a year from now will not make a positive difference in my life or anyone else’s either.
I now see that all the things that help me move to my own next level of personal and spiritual growth, all the things that move me toward the completion of my goals and moving me closer to my dreams, were not “have to’s” they are all “want to’s”, and require a conscious decision and effort on my part.
I do not “have to” buy a new book, a CD series training, attend a personal growth workshop, start my own home based business, learn how to communicate better, and the list goes on. I must decide that I “want to” do these things. I must also have a Reason, an Emotional Reason bigger than the life I live now, in order to make the decision worth the effort the time, energy and money the want to will require of me.
I also realized that the “have to’s” didn’t take commitment and scheduling of my time, the “have to’s” didn’t require an investment of money, my time, and effort. I quickly began to understand that all the things I could Choose to change my life in a positive way, so I can change myself and grow into my success, required me to take total responsibility for all the decisions and actions in my life. I now know that everything that brings positive growth, change and moves me closer to my goals, requires me to invest in myself,, invest my time, my energy and my money to change my life in the direction I want to go.
I now know it all starts with the awareness, then learning how to begin the journey to learn to dream again, then to set my goals and set a plan of action in motion. It sounds so easy. I know now that it is simple, not necessarily easy, but it is simple and gets easier with the learning. I now always remember;
It is what I do
That I do not “have to” do
That determines who I am
When it is too late
To do anything about it.
